Finding a new norm

We’ve had a hectic couple of weeks lately with the two birthday parties, training for the Mother’s Day classic and me starting to do a bit more work.  Every time we seem to have a ‘free weekend’ it somehow ends up filled with things to do, outings and visitors.  I find myself craving some time to just be at home with nothing in particular on the agenda, but then when that does happen I fill it up with something else.  On the rare occasion when we do have that ‘spare time’ at home as a family, it’s never quite goes how I imagined it.

For a start the house is always in some state of disorder.  I tend to let the ball slip on the weekends, thinking it should be my ‘day off’ as well, with Mr Good thinking the same thing, but the girls continue in their whirlwind ways leaving behind destruction wherever they go.  I can never really relax when the house is in this state.  Secondly I dream of being able to curl up on the couch and catch up on one of the shows I missed during the week (The Amazing Race) or read a couple of chapters of the book I’m reading (still going on A Suitable Boy, but have also read some short stories in between), but Miss Three is more interested in cutting and pasting, wants a push on her bike or to play tea parties and Miss One needs someone to play with the ball with her.  Thirdly, staying at home with that much unplanned time generally doesn’t work well with Miss Three.  She bounces between Mr Good and I as we are both caught up in trying to get our own things done.  It really just doesn’t work for any of us and tempers end up pretty frayed by the end of the weekend.

It has taken me quite a while, but I’ve finally come to the conclusion that I need to treat the weekends pretty much like any other day of the week.  That is, I still need to get some cleaning and washing done so the house doesn’t fall apart every weekend left for me to rebuild on Monday and I need to make a point of doing things with the girls each day, visit friends for a play with other kids, walk down to the park, go to the library, make a trip to the green grocer (Miss Three loves picking out fruit to eat for the week) or the market, play together in the garden or take the dog for a walk.

Perhaps trying to hold onto my weekends like I have been doing – apart from Saturday morning swimming – is that last little bit of my pre-motherhood life that I’ve had trouble letting go of.  It’s not that I want to go back to that part of my life or that I don’t revel in being Mum to two beautiful girls, but that freedom to relax and completely change pace on the weekends I do miss.  Pre-schoolers don’t understand the difference between days of the week, apart from the fact that Dad is home on two days and gone the rest of the week and that’s exactly as it should be.  It’s me that need to realise this and approach the weekends in a new and completely different way.

And with that said, I’m now going to sit and enjoy the start of the next season of Downton Abbey with a vodka lime and soda thanks to Mr Good.

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One Response to Finding a new norm

  1. Liz says:

    I too find the weekends work better if we go out – for much the same reasons you talk about above. Whenever we stay at home I just get annoyed with my partner because he’s doing what he’s always done on weekends – reading the paper and staying up late to watch the soccer and I’m trying to clean, tidy and generally entertain the kids which is of course my weekday job as well. Actually as the kids are getting bigger they do entertain each other a lot more so there is some space for both of us to have down time – just not very much. More importantly – What did you think of Downton? I enjoyed it but realised how much of the first series I’d already forgotten.

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